the space between

sew weekly's current challenge is green. which i take to mean green, but also as in using what you have green. i had scraps, and lots of them, from my burdastyle book entry. and i used every inch of them. green and green: repurposing, upcycling, planet hugging. i think the planet is in need of a hug right now.

this is the one shot you'll see a smile in. it is undoubtedly and repeatedly time, my friends, for a new camera. 

as soon as i type that, i think, nice, oonaBRATtoona, please be a little more unware of the world around you as you post on your sewing blog and complain about, you know, your crappy five megapixel camera. ten years ago you had one megapixel and you were over the moon, now there are nuclear reactors blowing up, but you know, whatever, your blurry photos are WAY more important.

then i stop typing and sigh, because really what can we do. we can host raffles and put up buttons, yes?

i have a confession to make. i have not paid any real attention to the news in ten years. i wouldn't have known about the earthquake in japan had i not looked at my blogroll, like i do every morning, and saw very purple person's post. (yes, ruggy would have eventually informed me that day, he is very up-to-date on the goings on of the world, and keeps me on a much appreciated need to know basis.)

my hibernation started with the election that wasn't. before that, i can't say i was an avid CNN hound, but i did try to stay in touch with what was happening in the world. when the 2000 election rolled around, i decided it was time to drink out of my big girl mug and really get informed. i got intimate with tom brokaw (he, my friends, is a badass), read the daily internet headlines, even got a subscription to the new york times. it was all depressing as hell, but the upcoming election made you feel as if there was something you could DO about it.

you know, and then The Election That Wasn't happened. right, left, or in-between, that was some royally messed up shit. i mean, i just wikipedia-ed to be sure i got the year right, and almost cried when i saw al gore's face.

wondering what was the point of all my nightly news intake, let alone my vote, i kept on with less vigor.

you know, and then 9/11 happened. and that. was some ROYALLY messed up shit. there is no need to wikipedia that. news and life wise here, it was all there was, for a very long time.

(as i expect will be the case in japan. although-- before the whole nuclear reactor situation-- it was a natural disaster. natural. i don't know from experience, and i hope i never will, but there seems to be a way to cope with that in your head. maybe. but then you think about things, things like The Election That Wasn't, and what we're doing to the planet, and what measures might be in place now to ease up on nature if The Election That Wasn't actually WAS...but this is about power plants, yes? not the nuclear bombs of the cold war ready to explode. oh and PS, somebody pictured above needs a swayback adjustment stat. but, as mentioned before, way more important things.)

getting back to the news. after 9/11, there didn't seem to be much i could do by staying connected to it. no, that's not saying it right, i was absolutely disgusted in the knowledge that there was nothing i could do. and hey there bright and shiny wide eyed american, this has been going down all over the world forever, so, your recent interest in the news? is old news, baby. all this has happened before and will happen again. i'm watching too much battlestar galactica.

there are catastrophic events going on every day. from the girl walking down the street who just got a call that her test results were bad, to the family whose granddad was on the bus with the suicide bomber, to the thousands of people in water and rubble and buildings.

and in the middle of all of these events, every one of them huge to the individuals facing them, sometimes i just want to go to a yoga class, and take yoga. i don't want to hear about laying my turmoil down by the yogi altar, or sending my thoughts out to the people in their own turmoil-- i don't want to hear about turmoil. i want to FORGET about turmoil, and feel happy and okay that i'm in a yoga class, and afterwards if i'm lucky i'll sew something that looks good enough to wear. and maybe it will be green and use up scraps of discarded material i already have in the house and reduce my carbon footprint and incrementally make the world a better place. and it will make me happy.

and my being happy, in and of itself, will HELP.

and i know this is the absolutely right way to feel. and i know this is the absolutely wrong way to feel.

and i feel like a heel for going on about my day. and i feel like a hero for going on about my day.