in over my head

i like to play. 

to that end, i finally decided to play along at mena's sew weekly. a little late to the game, but what else is new. the challenge for this roller coaster first week of spring involved using a pattern. whether you like it or not. actually, decidedly not, as you had to choose a pattern with a questionable cover. 

i've had this pattern for seven years now. i bought it at a yard sale in los angeles, 'natch. the vogue ladies on the cover scared the bejesus out of me (what is WITH that blue eyeshadow), but i had a love/hate thing going on with that extremely odd hood on super secret spy lady. i think she's nonchalantly tapping into the listening device surgically implanted into her right earlobe. part vogue, part minority report, part star wars canteen. i mean, it's weird. but COOL. however, the freaky ladies kept me from ever even opening the envelope. 

friday night, i realized i was about to flake on my sew weekly challenge after only ONE WEEK of joining the group. i hauled my ass off the couch, grabbed this weirdo pattern,  and resigned myself to an hour of tracing and cutting and adjusting a goddammed pattern. i HATE tracing and cutting and adjusting a goddammed pattern. 

and then... oh, then... i opened the worn envelope, and out fell the most neatly folded vintage pattern in history. had it even be used? i wondered. yes, oona. yes it HAD. by an angel of a lady, a sainted seamstress, a gem of a gal by the name of loretta j. this wonder woman had traced the view of the pattern i wanted, right down to the stitching line. no zipper, sans sleeves, EXACTLY as i had envisioned it. two pattern pieces on the fold, and nothing else. like she KNEW.

if miss loretta j. was a lesbian, and she was into my type, i would build a time machine and grant her sexual favors.

while ruggy would, as a boy, applaud this statement, he did not understand the enormity of the situation unfolding at my sewing desk. with every passing second my luck grew. i had the perfect five dollar stretch remnant. i had only four seams to sew. my new girlfriend loretta j had already made petite adjustments. i would have my challenge done in minutes!!! you don't even KNOW, i kept muttering to  the cats while occasionally staring dementedly in ruggy's direction in sheer happiness.

you would think i'd jinxed myself with that optimistic mouthiness. peeps, i did not. in fact, i got even more lucky. i ought to play the lotto this weekend. cause you know what i realized while making this pattern? with a few tweaks... i could wear the fracker upside down.

oh, and? it has variations.

don't hate, peeps. especially not on my hot pink tights from the eighties.

if you like it, maybe i'll do a tutorial. no sexual favors required. (unless you wanna trace the rest of my vintage patterns for me.)