you dress like a tourist

no for real, you do.   if you dress up, that is.  

i decided the best way to wrap up my oona does it!s on le blog would be to talk about where i wear them.  that way i might actually wear them somewhere, as opposed to my current abysmal average. 

so!  i wore my goldschlagger dress out to a birthday dinner with Holy Cow She's So Freaking Brilliant Friend and her husband, I Can't Believe You Cooked That Awesome Shit Chef.  (they were our thanksgiving guests.  we had a LOT to be thankful for.)

Brilliant Chica's birthday falling frequently on or about thanksgiving seems to have meant little to no birthday plans in the past.  as you know, in kalkatroona, this will not do.  i coaxed her into my campbell apartment dress (which fit Her Hotness like a glove), we raided the vintage jewelry stash, dressed the boys up as much as we could, and headed to one of our favorite french restaurants.

as we strolled down the avenue, i imagined us singlehandedly (well, double handedly.  quadruply? there were two of us) bringing back the age of style.  something like mad men, but without mad men acting like asses.  just very sane men like ruggy and Mad Chef bringing gallantry back.  they've already got sexy, in spades.

we got stares.  from several drag queens.  do you know what it takes to get noticed by a new york city drag queen?

i mean, my dress was faced in faux lavender leather.  (yeah, that's understitching, yo. i got skillz.)

check the orange and gold zipper.  and what UP matching gold shoes?!

she in teal lace, and i in sparkly gold?  truly we were the epitome of class, and should have been treated as such.  

mais, non.  we arrived at the restaurant and were seated by the kitchen.  birthday girl's entree was a total hackjob, which had to be sent back.  after our waiter, some new upselling species of shark, gave birthday girl the third degree on what was wrong with her moules frites, i decided i truly did not like him.  i lost all betty draper composure and barked GOAT CHEESE TART at him when he returned for the new order.  twice, as he tried to upsell Brilliant Chica to the special.  i did not want him talking to Brilliant Chica any longer.  he had lost that privilege.

eventually the owner, whom ruggy & i know and very much enjoy, came over and made everything nice again.   shark attack was all smiles after that. 

i would have liked to bash his teeth in.

were we too dressed?  did shark attack take us for rubes?  as i glanced at our surroundings, i saw peeps dressed in tattered jeans and t shirts, bags of black friday loot by their feet, looking at us like we were a little loco.  when did these tables turn?

oh yeah by the way, this is simplicity's project runway line, numero 2444, and holy cow do i love this line.  this pattern has pockets, always a plus, and was hella fun to sew and wear.  the home deco fabric i scored at joann's is the highly flammable bomb to work with.  but maybe better suited for drapes.  it itches like a motha.  i did the sleeves, mainly because i wanted to prove to myself i could do sleeves (i can't, those poofy pleats are totally born of me shrugging my shoulders and forcing the caps to fit), but now i think i might hack them off.  i feel a little too girly in it.

it's hard to kick a shark's ass when you're all girly.  next time, all sharks in the vicinity will see my guns.  

but they will be gussied up guns, dammit.  GUSSIED.  UP.