the met + meeting iris apfel: regrets

I will do my level best to never miss a Met Costume Institute Exhibit again. And if I happen to run into Iris Apfel (and I mean LITERALLY RUN INTO IRIS APFEL), I will simply tell her she's amazing and leave it at that.

I actually don't bother celebrities, much less ask for pictures. People are people, man. Some are famous, some are not. There are many Wondrous People worthy of a brief interlude, or a photo, in every walk of life. Several of y'all would get leveled by the sheer force of my hug were we to unexpectedly meet on the street. But still, in the Celestial Celebrity Realm, there have been a few I couldn't resist...

(lotsa museum shots in this one... click "read more" below to hear the rest of the story!)

Prime example: Luciano Pavarotti came to see Rent, and it was announced that he'd be backstage during intermission, if anyone wanted to meet him. YEAH OKAY. I never ripped off those blue plastic pants so quickly. I think I was panting at the Stage Manager's booth seven seconds after the end of Act One. The two of us first on the scene (Mark was the other) were treated to an enormous megawatt grin and a great big bear hug that enveloped us both simultaneously and lasted an eternity. He set the bar for any celebrity meeting after that. I will seriously never forget it.

Would that I could forget my encounter with Iris! I was kneeling on the ground to get a shot of one of the many amazing pieces, and as I turned to stand, a polite gentleman pleaded with me to Please, be careful! 

How silly, I thought, What needless worry, I am the definition of a Considerate Human Being in this crowded museum! I realized his concern surrounded a wheelchair, the footrest millimeters behind me. Keeping the gaze of Polite Gentleman, I soothed him with a smile: I'll just step over the footrest, and made my gentle way out of the wall of tourists almost as if by levitation.

As I floated away on my cloud of Proper Behavior, one of my cohorts breathed TELL ME THAT'S NOT WHO I THINK IT IS. I turned back to survey the scene of Polite Gentleman and his charge: saw the hair, saw the glasses, saw the inches I had just occupied in front of her...



I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN KNEELING BEFORE A DEITY, MAN.

That thing in me clicked: THIS IS A PERSON THAT I MUST HAVE AN INTERACTION WITH. My cohorts gave me a pep talk, and I marched back over. Excuse me, I said in hushed tones to the lovely lady manning the apparatus, Do you think she might mind if I asked her for a picture? I don't want to bother her, I just think she's amazing, I've even made outfits inspired by her...

I'm sure it's no problem, she smiled at me, A lot of people have been asking. I waited until Polite Gentleman had finished discussing the piece before her, and asked with reverent fervor if I might have a picture.

So reverent, that she couldn't hear me. There's polite, and there's mincing. I upped the volume, along with compliments, and she graciously said yes, so long as you do it quickly, they're being so kind to me here. 

I knelt in a flash, became all thumbs, and couldn't find the damn reverse button on the iphone camera. I tapped the screen once with no result, and made my escape.

I actually wish I hadn't bothered her. Although I'm fully aware that sort of thing comes with the territory, and I believe that it's part of what you sign up for when you get into the business, I don't think of her as being part of the business. At least, I don't think that's what she set out to do. She's sort of an unintentional icon. Add to that, I learned a few minutes after my bumbling episode that her husband Carl had just passed. Unimaginable.

We were basically on the same path for the rest of that room, so my exclamations and photo snaps over the next dress in the exhibit probably looked like I was trying to get more shots of her. Which I wasn't, I mean, that would be rude, and furthermore, when you can't find the reverse button, you turn off your desire for a snap before you drop and shatter your phone in your feeble nervous attempts. And what would I do with a photo of us, anyway? It was amazing to see her in the flesh. I was close enough to verify that her glasses are the size of my head!

I'm sure she hasn't given it a second thought, but I do feel badly about it. It's a good reminder that people who ask for a handshake or a photo are probably doing it because they feel a connection to you, and a good reminder that the person of interest has a life going on.

If I do see her again, I'll send her a silent obeisance. And I just might, because for real, If I'm in town, I'm not missing another Costume Institute exhibit. I. AM. NOT. I was here the entire time for McQueen, and just let it pass me by. HUGE REGRET!!!! "China through the Looking Glass" didn't seem like my bag, and yet, since I've seen it, it's all I can think about. Matter of fact, this long winded tale serves a dual purpose of giving your device some time to load the FULL ON DUMP of pictures I'm about to throw down.

If you're in town, you have till Monday to see this amazing eye candy in person. What are you doing here? Go! Go right now!