The Man, The Myth, THE JAMS.

HEY NOW! THAT is what I call a celestial body! ARE YOU MY LUCKY STAR, BABY?! Yes, I am catcalling my man. I CAN'T HELP IT. He's looking right down the lens of the camera and I'm DONE. IN A GOOD WAY. Can you blame me? Would you lookit that mug? Are the technicolor, handmade shorts even the focus of this leadoff picture on a *sewing* blog? No, they are not, and YOU'RE WELCOME.

I'm sorry, I'm feeling very ALL CAPS lately. Belligerently so. I think it's because such a large portion of the -ish going on in the world points to a severe lack of listening (among 12,000 other things), SO ALL CAPS SEEMS HANDY.

These shorts, however, point to a very different issue. AN ISSUE OF GQ, BABY! THAAAAAT'S RIGHT! I swear, I didn't intentionally create a starburst at crotch level. Well I mean, I DID, but I didn't consider just how bursty it would be once stitched up.

This picture was meant to showcase the zip fly, but yeah. That's a lotta crotchburst.

Can you believe, the BACK is where I really thought we'd have issues? To be clear, we do, in more ways than giving Rob his own pink portal. There are no pockets. This is what Rob said as we walked out the door to take pictures. I gave him a substantial pause and several calm breaths before promising him back pockets on the next pair.

BECAUSE DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THE FRONT POCKETS TOOK? A LONG TIME!!! A VERY LONG TIME!!!

If you can pull your eyes away from "Star Marks The Spot" and look to the left of this shot, you'll see a little silver clip. That's my model's pocketknife. This southern man goes nowhere without it. So, right around the time I was considering pivoting and making him a good old elastic waistband, I remembered working front pockets were a necessity.

Apologies for mangling the edges of this fantastic mural, part of Sprayetteville. I had to extend the width of the JPG to fit my blog. I blame the model's gravitational pull, I just wanted to be close to him. But Sideview! Sideview, to give your peepers a break from phenomenal print placement! 

Speaking of print placement, Rob is pointing out the logo of the best brewery IN THE UNIVERSE, run by two of our closest friends and favorite humans. If you're in the hood, check out Crisis Brewery, y'all.

Hey! Now that I'm at the bottom of the post, and no longer distracted by the HotNess Monster™️ gracing my screen, lemme talk about the sewing for a minute.

These shorts are actually a copy of his favorite pair of RTW shorts. They finally got old enough for him to sacrifice them to science. Various methods of making a pattern from RTW have been attempted in the past, none worked to my liking! I find it tedious to trace with thread and silk organza, or rub off seam lines like hieroglyphics....and, yes, I have tried commercial shorts patterns, which always fail to give him space to roam free. I am SO GLAD I finally tried cutting something to pieces, because it worked like a charm! And no, I don't feel bad copying a piece of RTW, especially as he can't find this cut in stores anymore. BELIEVE ME HE CAN'T. I'VE SENT HIM ON MANY A QUEST. Anything to keep me from having to deal with the anatomy of the male membered crotch curve.   

The traffic on this post is going to be stupendously baffled.

For this method, you will absolutely lose whatever you're copying, but it's a pretty solid way to get an exact copy. I decided to document it all, start to finish, on our YT Channel, and dealing with sewing-without-a-net while filming basically put my brain on backorder. But now that I know it works, I'll be looking for more candidates to go under the knife, and I'll share a more comprehensible A to Z with y'all soon! For now, if you'd like to get an idea of how this worked (and be entertained by our fitting session) you can check out the video by clicking right here: Watch: Copying RTW Shorts!

I hope you're digging the video content, for myself, I don't think I would have dove into these shorts otherwise! Lemme know if there's anything you'd like to see in the future. (And, I have no intention of becoming a blogger whose blog posts only include embedded video content, so although I'll alert you to videos here, I'll still be rambling aplenty. In fact I think it'll make me ramble MORE. AIN'T YOU LUCKY? AIN'T YOU ALL CAPS LUCKY?!!!)